


In your arms I'll fall

by cassiem



Category: Block B
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-15
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-23 01:11:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3749419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiem/pseuds/cassiem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s soft, but Jiho responds immediately, opening his mouth, letting Yukwon inside, and as their tongues touch everything falls into place, like a jigsaw puzzle: this is what he’s been waiting for these past five years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In your arms I'll fall

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: I have no really special prompt but I'd love some angsty ZiKwon! Like really angsty ;)

_Come, come closer now lover,_  
_Know I need you next to me,_  
_Eyes across the room can feel so far away._  
_All desires I feel, I don't have the words to say,_  
_Baby, when you're near, you get me close to it._

 _In your arms I'll fall_  
_All the way to hell_  
_Like two soft bodies_  
_In those arms I found my love_  
[ _Fall – The Presets_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ic1DjIFDbeQ)

 

Jiho’s hand, rough and insistent, tugging at his shirt, lifting it up, touching his stomach – this is the _practice_ room, for god’s sakes, Yukwon knows Minhyuk could walk in at any moment, but the thing is he doesn’t care.

“Yukwon.” Jiho hisses, that’s it, just his name, Yukwon’s hands are in Jiho’s hair, but they aren’t kissing, even as Jiho’s hands dip below his bellybutton, why aren’t they kissing anymore?

  
_r e w i n d_

The box on the table in front of them is menacing even as Yukwon tries to remember it’s just a box. He wants this, he wants it so _bad_ that he can see himself pulling out a red ball, he _needs_ this more than he wants it, needs it more than he can breathe. This can fix everything.

“No cheating. If anyone opens their eyes, I’ll kill them.” Jiho warns, looking at each of them in turn.

Jihoon scrunches up his face. “How will you know who’s eyes are open if _your_ eyes are shut, hyung?”

Yukwon wants to scream, smack the maknae even though he knows that’s wrong of him, but he just wants to pick a ball and have it over with, doesn’t want to deal with this shit anymore.

“Ready?” Jiho asks. They all nod in response.

“Okay. Eyes shut, everyone.” Yukwon hears Jiho mixing up the balls so no one can reach for the red ones deliberately. “And go.”

Yukwon snatches a ball quickly, holds it between his palms, can feel it brimming with energy.

“Okay, everyone look now.” Jiho calls, and Yukwon opens his eyes and in his palm is a beautiful, perfect, red ball.

He’s done it. He’s in.

His eyes flit around the circle until he finds the hands holding the other two – Minhyuk and Jihoon. Minhyuk looks relieved and Jihoon, Yukwon can tell, is so excited he is going to burst. He can live with this, but immediately his mind goes to the choreography – how is Jihoonie going to keep up?

He quickly looks at the others. Kyung is just smiling, Jiho is already putting his ball back in the box, Taeil is looking at Jihoon like he is a proud father and Jaehyo looks crushed.

He puts the ball delicately back in the box with the rest, but inside his heart is humming. He’s made it.

  
_f a s t f o r w a r d_

Jiho’s hand is down his pants now, stroking _there_ so hard and fast Yukwon is close to the edge. His mind is spinning, full of questions, why is Jiho doing this, why is Yukwon _letting him_ , but all that spills out of his mouth is a breathy “Jiho” as he feels the other man’s hand tighten in his hair. Over his shoulder he sees their reflection in the mirror, sees his eyes, dark and hazy.

“What more do you want from me, Yukwon?” Jiho mutters into Yukwon’s neck, but he can’t answer, the sensation of Jiho’s hand on his cock is too much, he’s coming close now, and Jiho senses it, strokes faster, his other hand making marks on Yukwon’s back.

This, this, oh god, _this_ is what he wants from Jiho.

  
_r e w i n d_

He should be happy, he should be over the moon, he should be bouncing off the walls that it’s his time to shine, that he can finally show everyone what he’s made of, but instead he is yelling at Jihoon for not picking up the choreography fast enough.

He feels Minhyuk’s hand on his wrist, restraining him, and yields to the elder’s touch. “Yukwon. That was a bit much, don’t you think?”

Jihoon isn’t upset, he’s angry, and Yukwon thinks this is worse, somehow, but his whole body is buzzing with energy and he feels ready to fight, wants the maknae to lash out, hit him, even as he knows in his rational mind that this is not him, why is he so angry?

“Sorry, Jihoon.” He mutters, ripping his arm out of Minhyuk’s grasp, grabbing his bag from where it lies, dumped next to the door in the practice room, and runs.

//

Back in the dorm he is restless, pacing up and down the kitchen. Thank god it’s empty; if Kyung or anyone else had been home, he would have hit them, he is sure of it – the rage in him is like snakes in his belly, low and frightening.

He knows, of course, what is causing this, knows where this fury that is so unlike him has come from.

Sunhye.

He doesn’t blame her, of course. They hadn’t had sex in months. He could barely even look at her anymore, and he didn’t know why. So she, doing the rational thing as she always did, had ended it. But in walking out of his life, she had taken with her the best part of him, the part that kept him grounded and sane and whole, and now he is unbalanced, like he’s drunk all the time, stumbling.

He walks into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him carefully, and, as if God is angry with him and just determined to make him feel worse, Jiho’s shirt is on his floor. Why? He doesn’t know. Maybe Jiho got drunk last night and thought this was his room, had stumbled in here, taking off all his clothes. The thought causes Yukwon to flush with embarrassment.

He scoops up the shirt, intending to put the offending article in the laundry, when the smell hits him. It’s a combination of aftershave and the special bodywash that Jiho hoards. Before he really knows it he has buried his face in the shirt, is inhaling the smell like it’s the last time he will ever have it. It’s so comforting somehow that he just can’t stop.

  
_f a s t f o r w a r d_

He comes all at once, soaking into his pants and going all over Jiho’s hand. They stay there like that for a minute, panting, Yukwon’s eyes staying firmly shut. He can’t look at Jiho, not now, now that the evidence of what they have done is between them, cooling all over Jiho’s hand.

“What do you want from me, Yukwon?” Jiho asks, again, but Yukwon does not have an answer.

  
_r e w i n d_

Things come to a head with the naver article.

He finds it in his kakaotalk inbox, from Jihoon, the only addendum a crying emoticon. He opens it, reads the title, and sighs. They are no strangers to scandal, he knows that, but he also knows that every single mean comment antis make goes straight to Jihoon’s heart.

By the time he is finished, he can barely read the words anymore he is shaking with rage. He _knew_ this would happen, knew they were going to get criticised, but as always Jiho had ignored his pleas and gone ahead anyway.

He flings himself off the bed, ready to throw the phone through the window when he has a better idea and storms across the hallway, into Jiho’s room, where the leader is sitting on the floor, headphones in and head bobbing away to a beat Yukwon cannot hear.

Yukwon hurls his phone at him, not caring that it could break ¬– what’s a broken phone when everything else in his life is broken too? – and snarls.

“What the hell is this?” Jiho shouts, ripping his headphones out and reaching for the phone to stop it from hitting the ground in a way that would be funny if Yukwon wasn’t so mad.

“Read it and weep, Jiho. I fucking told you there would be consequences to those stupid kimonos. We’re being called traitors, for fuck’s sake. I told you, and you didn’t listen.”

Jiho scans the article quickly, the genuine surprise on his face startling Yukwon a little bit – how had Jihoon got to this article before SeSea had? – but doing nothing to cool his anger.

“Hey, Yukwon, relax, they’re just antis, you know we –”

Yukwon nearly kicks him, right there in the dorm, and the thought scares him and thrills him at the same time. Instead he just stares, shaking his head slowly. “You never _listen_ , Jiho. It’s like you’re doing your best to fuck this up for us.”

And he leaves, slamming the door behind him, only realising when he is halfway down the street that his phone is still in Jiho’s hands.

//

  
_p l a y_

And that is how Yukwon finds himself in the practice room, dancing to Conduct Zero over and over until his muscles are screaming at him for rest.

The music is so loud he doesn’t realise Jiho has entered until the song is over and he hears a slow clap from behind him. He whips around, his chest still heaving, and curls his fist when he realises it’s Jiho.

“What do you want, Jiho?” He breathes, reaching for his water bottle and taking a swig.

“I want to know why you’re being like this. You should be grateful, not angry. I don’t know what’s got into you.” Jiho replies, the bitterness in his tone unmistakeable.

Yukwon swallows the water, drops his water bottle carelessly. The noise rings throughout the studio, making Jiho wince. “You don’t know? She hasn’t told you?”

Jiho screws up his face. “Who – Sunhye? Why? What’s happened? I haven’t talked to her in ages.”

Yukwon bites back a laugh. “She left me, Jiho. Five years and she just fucked off, out of my life, with no looking back.”

Jiho’s eyes widen and he steps closer to Yukwon, his hand reaching out automatically, wanting to comfort. “I’m sorry, Yukwon, hyung, I didn’t know, none of us did – ”

“No. Of course. You weren’t to know.” Yukwon replies, and covers his face with his hands. What has he done?

Jiho is surrounding him then, that smell filling up his nostrils and going straight to his head. He forgets that he’s all sweaty, that he has just been horrifically rude to the younger man, and relaxes in the touch, drowns in the way Jiho is stroking his back.

They stand like that for a while, Jiho’s hand tracing circles and swirls up and down Yukwon’s back, until Jiho finally puts two fingers under Yukwon’s chin and tilts his head up.

“Hey, listen. It will be okay. We’ll get through this.” He whispers, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and Yukwon has the sudden inexplicable urge to press his mouth to Jiho’s, so he does.

It’s soft, but Jiho responds immediately, opening his mouth, letting Yukwon inside, and as their tongues touch everything falls into place, like a jigsaw puzzle: this is what he’s been waiting for these past five years.

As he feels Jiho break the kiss, feels the younger man’s hand on his ribs, he whispers a silent apology – to himself, to Sunhye, to Jiho – and gives in.

  
_f a s t f o r w a r d_

Yukwon pushes Jiho away forcefully, almost too forcefully, in fact, because the leader nearly falls flat on his ass. He stalks over to where he dropped his water bottle, shoves it in his bag, and slings it over his shoulder, fixing his pants at the same time, studiously ignoring Jiho all the while.

“Hey, hyung–”

He pauses at the doorway, looks back to where Jiho is standing, alone in the expanse of the practice room, and sighs.

“I don’t need anything from you, Jiho.”

He leaves, and doesn’t look back.

**Author's Note:**

> go listen to the song!!!!!! it's such an amazing song and the lyrics fit this fic perfectly I just wanted to put them all in there but ya know I can't do that lmao
> 
> so as usual with vague prompts I struggled a bit; I always find it hard to come up with any plot by myself. But I scraped together something that I hope is good enough!
> 
> In case you don't know what the ball thing is about – to choose the members of Bastarz, the 7 of them got around and picked balls out from a box. There were 3 red ones and 4 blue ones. The red ones got to be in Bastarz :-)
> 
> anyway hope you enjoyed


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